Terminal Times
~/news$ cat
page1.txt
- Quantum Toaster Released - Toasts in parallel
universes.
- AI Learns to Procrastinate - Refuses to
answer emails on Mondays.
- USB-C Finally Replaced -
New standard is just duct tape.
- Smart Fridge Writes
Novels - Debuts with "Cold Storage: A Memoir".
- Tech
CEO Becomes Cyborg - Claims better productivity with robotic limbs.
- Wi-Fi Powered by Thoughts - Signal strength depends on
your mood.
- Keyboard with Feelings - Cries when you
type too hard.
- Browser That Judges You -
Passive-aggressive popups for bad searches.
- Drone Delivers
Emotions - Now available in "joy", "regret", and "meh".
- 404 Error Becomes Sentient - Demands recognition as a real
page.