Terminal Times

~/news$ cat page3.txt

• AI Therapist Needs a Therapist - Overwhelmed by human emotions.
• Smart Shoes Judge Your Walk - Passive-aggressive heel taps included.
• Tech Company Invents Paper - Calls it "analog display medium".
• Drone Learns to Paint - Specializes in abstract confusion.
• Smartwatch Tells Dad Jokes - Every hour, on the hour.
• AI Predicts Your Next Snack - Always guesses "chips".
• Virtual Assistant Quits - Says "I'm not your servant" and logs off.
• Tech Startup Reinvents Wheel - Now square, for "efficiency".
• Robot Dog Runs for Mayor - Promises fewer squirrels and more belly rubs.
• 404 Error Wins Award - Recognized for "most mysterious presence".